Divorce is one of the hardest things to go through in life. There are so many things to consider, such as who will keep the house and how finances should be divided. If you have children, how will custody and visitation be worked out? One of the more awkward things that will need to be done is letting other people know about the situation. But what should you say and when? The professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for alternatives to contentious and costly divorce proceedings, offer the following advice about how to tell people you’re getting a divorce.
Time It Right
Don’t say anything until you’re sure you’re heading for divorce. If you’re merely considering it, keep quiet while you and your spouse decide where your marriage stands to keep others from trying to interfere and influence your decision. Once you’re sure, then it’s time to speak up.
Present a United Front
Some divorces are very acrimonious, and in those cases, it may be best for spouses to keep as much distance between them as is reasonably possible. But if you and your spouse are on civil terms, it can be helpful to let close family members and mutual friends know of your decision together so they don’t feel like they have to choose sides or get in the middle.
Give as Few Details as Possible
While it can be tempting to dish the dirt on your spouse and complain about what led to the demise of your marriage, refrain from this as much as possible. The world doesn’t need to know the details of your marriage—or your divorce. Keep explanations short and simple, and although it may be difficult, try your best to avoid insulting or speaking badly of your spouse.
Use Caution When Posting on Social Media
Social media can actually be a good place to announce a divorce, as you can let many people know at once without the need to have the same conversation over and over. However, it’s important to make sure people close to you know first. Your best friend or mother-in-law shouldn’t hear about your divorce for the first time from a social media post. On social media, as in real life, use caution with your words. Be as kind as possible, and avoid giving too many details or talking badly about the other party.
Keep the Announcement Simple
When in doubt, keep it simple and general. It didn’t work out, you grew in different directions, there were irreconcilable differences, you realized you wanted different things in life—these are all perfectly acceptable answers to the question “Why are you getting divorced?”
Choose the Locations of Your Discussions Carefully
When possible, tell people about your divorce in private, especially if you think the conversation may become emotional. Invite people who are close to you over for lunch or coffee. These may be difficult conversations, not just for you but also for the people close to you.
Divorce is never easy, so knowing how to prepare yourself and other people for it can help a great deal as you go through the process. Another great way to approach divorce is to work with experienced divorce mediators. San Diego couples get tremendous benefits from the expertise of the team at Divorce Options San Diego. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we work closely with couples, helping them end their marriages with respect and mutual satisfaction so they can move on to the next stages of their lives. To learn more about our groundbreaking divorce mediation process, give us a call today at 858-281-2628.
During the time you’ve been married, you’ve had to handle some challenging conversations as a couple. Now, you’re about to have one of the most difficult conversations two people can have in a marriage. The decision to get a divorce is not to be made lightly, and you may be worried about your spouse’s reaction. Telling your spouse you want a divorce does require some planning. The San Diego divorce mediation experts from Divorce Options San Diego suggest working through these steps can help the conversation go as smoothly as possible.
Take Time to Fully Think It Through
The statement that you want a divorce is a showstopper, and you need to make absolutely sure this is what you want. No matter what has happened, it’s important to be clear when you speak to your spouse. Spend some time thinking about your reasons for the divorce so you won’t be tempted to change your mind after you bring it up.
Start the Conversation When You Have Time to Talk
Your spouse will probably have questions and is likely to have a negative reaction that will take time to work through. As a gesture of respect, don’t just say you want a divorce right before you walk into a family event or try to go to bed for the night. Look for a window of opportunity, such as a weekend afternoon when you’re both home, to make your request for a divorce.
Make Sure to Stay Calm & Kind
If your spouse gets angry, your reaction can bring the conversation back to a more peaceful level. No matter what happens, try to stay calm, and speak in an even voice. Try to remember that you’ve had time to think about this. Your spouse might react strongly if this is the first time he or she has heard about your unhappiness. Keep in mind this doesn’t mean you must take abuse. If your spouse begins to yell or make physical threats, do what you must to protect your safety.
Avoid Placing Blame
You have your reasons for the divorce, and they may include negative things your spouse has done or continues to do today. However, things will go much better if you don’t make your spouse feel like he or she needs to defend him or herself. Try to use “I” statements that describe how you feel rather than “you” statements that list your spouse’s transgressions.
Be Gentle but Firm
Your spouse might try to talk you out of the divorce. For instance, he or she may offer to change his or her behavior or try to make you feel guilty by bringing up your children or shared memories. When this happens, simply restate your belief that a divorce is best.
Wait to Discuss the Details
Sharing that you want a divorce creates an emotionally charged situation, and it’s best to avoid discussing other hot topics, such as who is going to get the house. There’s plenty of time to work out these details, and this process will be easier when you work with a neutral third party, such as a divorce mediator. Let your spouse know you can work those things out later and that you hope to do so amicably.
If you’re at the point where you think divorce is the right choice for you, there are alternatives to hiring a lawyer and having to make countless court appearances. The expert San Diego divorce mediators at Divorce Options San Diego provide a one-stop shop, offering comprehensive services that cover all the psychological, financial, legal, and practical aspects of honorable, respectful divorce agreements, from beginning to end. Give us a call today at 858-281-2628.
Divorce is a major life change that can cause you to feel like your life is going in 20 different directions at once. Throughout the next stages in the process, you can expect to encounter new stresses and decisions that could test your emotional wellbeing. The team of psychological, legal, and financial experts at Divorce Options San Diego—professionals who are revolutionizing the divorce process with divorce mediation San Diego couples trust to help them create amicable, customized divorce solutions—offer this explanation of how taking the time to prepare emotionally can help you feel strong and ready to face the future with confidence.
Expect Your Emotions to Fluctuate
People feel different things during a divorce, and it’s not always as simple as feeling either happy or sad. At one moment, you might feel relieved that the hard days of your marriage are over. The next moment you might find yourself feeling afraid about the future. Anger, anxiety, joy, and grief are all normal emotions during divorce. You might even experience several conflicting emotions at once, and knowing this is normal can help you accept each feeling as it comes.
Try to Find a Sense of Closure
Your divorce represents a new beginning in life, but it’s also important to acknowledge that it’s an ending to many of your previous expectations about what would happen in the future. You need to take some time to find a sense of closure that helps you move on from the past. If you didn’t originally want the divorce, this might mean accepting what you can’t change. You may also want to do something tangible to find closure, such as planning a trip or going to an event you might not have attended with your spouse.
Begin to Envision Your Future
Just thinking about the future might cause anxiety if you haven’t taken steps to begin making critical decisions about your divorce. Make some time in your day to begin creating a vision of how you want your new single life to be. You can use this vision as a guide for your divorce mediation, and getting some basic decisions made in mediation can alleviate many of your worries.
Cultivate a New Hobby or Interest
Distractions can keep you from completely focusing on your divorce, and you need some things to keep you busy when you start to feel stressed. Consider redecorating your living space so it feels more like your own. You can also step out and take a class that helps you make new friends. Finding new hobbies can help you see you’re making progress with your personal development.
Let People Know How to Help
You should put together an emotional support network to help you through your divorce. Many people may not know what to do or say. Be honest with the people in your life who want to help, and let them know how you feel. They’ll find it easier to give you support when they know if you’re feeling happy or sad. You can also let them know when you want to talk about something else or do something unrelated to the divorce as a distraction.
All the psychological, financial, legal, and practical aspects of honorable, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our specialized comprehensive process, which is so thorough they won’t need to hire attorneys. To learn how we can help you with every aspect of your divorce, call us today at 858-281-2628.
Disclaimer: This blog does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation, it’s best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.
The rise of fertility clinics means reproductive technology now plays a part in any number of domestic situations and interpersonal dynamics. Well-to-do older couples who want to conceive later, same-sex couples, and cancer patients facing devastating treatments that can affect their fertility all know that in real-life situations, reproductive technology isn’t quite so impersonal. The San Diego divorce mediation experts from Divorce Options San Diego offer the following advice on forming agreements about reproductive technology that are truly beneficial for both parties.
Not All Agreements Are Created Equal
When divorced couples fight over reproductive technology, it’s usually because one of them wants to have children after their divorce and the other one doesn’t. In many cases, the court case works out in favor of the party who doesn’t want to be a parent. Many of these couples have made agreements at fertility clinics, and the courts often enforce these agreements. In the latest newsworthy case, an Arizona court ruled in favor of the original agreement between the couple. The fertility clinic agreement stated one party would require consent from the other party to procreate. As the husband’s attorney put it: “These are extremely difficult and emotional issues, so it’s best for couples to make decisions ahead of time.”
Yet the idea that “working things out ahead of time” will be enough assumes all agreements are equal. Even though it may appear both parties have entered an agreement of their own free will, anyone who has signed an unfavorable prenup under pressure can attest that both parties may not be fully present or cognizant of their needs and desires at the time the agreement is made. That’s where mediation comes in.
Mediation Produces Mutually Beneficial Agreements
When making an important agreement about your future fertility, the mediators at Divorce Options San Diego can help you unearth your true needs and interests to come to a better agreement. We put our psychoanalytical expertise to work for couples who are making important decisions about future fertility but who may need a deeper analysis of their true needs. We can also analyze other aspects of your situation, including economic issues, health needs, religious beliefs, and values. We can stress-test agreements in light of each couple’s individual situation.
The cornerstone of any lasting agreement is good faith. We help couples come to a full understanding of the issues involved in any fertility agreement, including the legal implications of procreating as well as future disputes and their potential outcomes. When couples make flexible agreements for their mutual benefit and in their own interests, these agreements are much more likely to last, saving time, trouble, and heartache.
Our Services & How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional San Diego divorce mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life.
When considering divorce, many people assume they’re facing an expensive battle, expecting a “win-lose” outcome and numerous court appearances. At Divorce Options San Diego, we reframe conflict as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future. We never litigate. We don’t do adversarial work, and we never represent one spouse against another. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorce and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized.
We’re a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential services, from paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis to life coaching and interior design. As a full-service mediation firm, we help you navigate the form-driven California divorce process and draft agreements that are fully legally compliant and take into account the needs of your whole family.
All our mediations start with thorough background research and information gathering that flows throughout the mediation process whenever necessary. Mediation is a 100 percent confidential process, so you can be assured your conflict will be handled with care and privacy. At Divorce Options San Diego, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, or legal situation. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience via telephone, video-conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at 858-281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.
Most people who go through divorce mediation are doing so for the first time. As with any new experience, it helps to know a few things before you get started. The San Diego divorce mediation experts from Divorce Options San Diego suggest knowing what to do and which things to avoid will help you work through the process of mediation faster and feel better about being able to work out an agreement with your spouse.
Do Know a Few Legal Basics
Your mediator serves as a guide who helps you make decisions about your divorce. He or she can share some information about what the courts expect regarding your settlement, but it also helps to know your legal responsibilities before you attend a session. For instance, your spouse might balk at the idea of going to mediation, but you might not have much of a choice if the court requires you to try it first. You and your spouse might also need to avoid doing things that make your divorce more complicated. Generally, this involves things such as not opening up new lines of credit or making major purchases until the divorce is fully resolved.
Don’t Antagonize Your Spouse Outside Mediation
You may need to interact with your spouse while you’re going through mediation. During these times, make an effort to keep things as civil as possible. For example, now isn’t a good time to try to make your spouse jealous by talking about how great your new relationship is. If your spouse is a couple of minutes late bringing the kids home from a visit, don’t make a big deal out of it. Letting small annoyances go can help you both be in a more productive mood when you need to agree on big decisions.
Do Have an Idea of What You Need
Even though you and your spouse will be meeting with your mediator separately, your sessions will go more smoothly when you already know what you want. Although you also need to consider what your spouse wants, it’s much more effective to say you want a specific vehicle or the right to more child visitation than to simply shrug and say you need time to think. Use the time between your sessions to reflect on what was accomplished during the most recent one and to decide what you want to get out of the next meeting.
Don’t Forget to Stay Organized
It’s amazing how much paperwork you need to shuffle through to finalize a divorce. Searching for documents can get overwhelming, but it’s a necessary part of making sure every detail of your divorce is covered in the settlement. You can also use official documents to prove the reasoning behind your preferences, such as pulling out your current retirement account statement to explain why it should be divided a certain way. Use a binder or folder to keep your documents together, and consider electronic storage that allows you to pull up a document from anywhere.
Do Be Willing to Be Flexible
You know what you want, but you also need to try to be flexible. Figure out where you can let go of a few things so you can focus on trying to make sure your needs are met. If there are kids involved, it helps to remember to make them the primary focus during your divorce mediation. Compromising may be what you need to do to help them make the easiest possible transition to your family’s new life.
You can boost your chances of successful mediation by hiring mediators with experience in helping couples with the legal, financial, psychological, and emotional aspects of divorce. The expert San Diego divorce mediators at Divorce Options San Diego provide a one-stop shop, offering comprehensive services that cover all aspects of divorce, from beginning to end. Give us a call today at 858-281-2628.
You’ve reached a point where you can no longer agree with your spouse on many aspects of your married life together, and you’re seeking a divorce. Now you may be wondering how anyone could expect you to agree on things during mediation. The fear that you might not be able to reach an agreement is a valid one, and it helps to know what could happen if you don’t find successful resolutions to all your disagreements. The experts from Divorce Options San Diego, divorce mediators San Diego couples rely on for creative alternatives to the often contentious and costly divorce process, offer the following guidelines for couples who are having difficulty reaching agreement during mediation.
What Mediators Do to Help Couples Agree on Decisions
You might be surprised to find out just how much you can agree on when you have a professional mediator helping you out. In your first mediation session, you may talk about which types of decisions you’ll need to make, which gives you a little time to begin thinking over what you want. In subsequent sessions, your mediator will help you narrow down what you need versus what you prefer. The mediator can also help you explain your reasoning for certain decisions to your spouse.
Ways to Minimize Conflict During Your Divorce
Both you and your spouse play big roles in whether your mediation has a successful outcome. You can do your part by trying to avoid doing things outside your mediation sessions that stir up drama. For instance, you may want to avoid dating for now or keep it quiet to avoid arousing jealousy.
How to Know When to Compromise
There may be times when you don’t get everything you want. When this happens, it helps to remember your spouse is going through the same thing. Your spouse may also have to compromise on things, and mediation sometimes involves some degree of give and take between both people involved. If you’re unsure whether a compromise is in your best interests, you might want to reach out to other people who can help. For instance, your legal counsel can give you advice you can use in your mediation sessions to help you feel better about any concessions you do make.
What to Do with a Half-Settled Mediation Agreement
There are some times when a complete agreement isn’t reached during divorce mediation. San Diego couples might find this happening around a topic that’s considered sensitive for both parties. While you might reach a standstill on one decision, it’s possible you’ll have the rest of them figured out. In this case, your mediator will put together a divorce agreement that outlines what you’ve decided so far. Then you can take your unfinished business to court. Even in this situation, having done some of the decision-making in mediation speeds up the process and produces a better outcome than trying to do it all through the judicial system.
When divorcing couples are looking for opportunities to make the process as smooth, respectful, and amicable as possible, divorce mediation offers a fantastic alternative to the animosity and high costs of traditional divorce. Trust Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced divorce mediators to handle every aspect of your divorce quickly and with compassion. To learn how divorce mediation might be the right choice for you, call Divorce Options San Diego today at 858-281-2628.
Most of us would agree we’ve come a long way from the 1950s notion of “family values.” There’s an understanding that marriage is a partnership and that both men and women are capable of pitching in with duties that were once assigned to traditional gender roles, from taking care of the kids to being the breadwinner. Although values have shifted, what’s shocking is how women still face penalties for going “too far.” A study conducted in Sweden showed women who made certain career leaps faced consequences in their marriages that men didn’t face. An Atlantic article on the study quotes some dispiriting opinions from Gen Z children on how they see female breadwinners. The children appear to believe the most desirable roles for husbands and wives are traditional, with men as the breadwinners and women in caregiving roles. As the article puts it so well: “Teenagers and young couples still cling to the traditional notion that career success is a male drama in which women must do their best in a supporting role.”
The dissatisfaction with that dynamic was very sensitively explored in the Oscar-winning movie Marriage Story, in which a divorce revolves around an actress’s resentment about giving up her career and ambitions to serve her husband’s own career as a stage director. She divorces her husband because she feels she couldn’t have followed her own dreams in Hollywood without rocking the boat. It’s only after the divorce that she has the freedom from the “supporting actor” role in her husband’s life to become successful herself.
The Swedish study found what most often caused problems in a marriage was a sudden change in the couple’s dynamics. Couples that had always equally shared duties didn’t split up as often, but when a wife changed direction and began to focus on her career, her marriage suffered. Also, sadly, the more high-powered the roles were (e.g., running for public office or taking on CEO roles), the more the marriages suffered.
When a woman is facing divorce because of a sudden promotion, she may be dealing with a resentful spouse, kids who need childcare, and a job that suddenly demands a lot of time, leaving less room for the dramas of divorce. Luckily, with mediation, you can choose to work together and try to dial down the divorce drama. The process is also a lot more cost-effective and takes much less time. For people who are emotionally drained and time constrained, the main benefit of choosing mediation is that it can be a richer and more comprehensive experience than a merely legal and transactional divorce. The San Diego divorce mediators at Divorce Options San Diego have psychoanalytical expertise and aim to tackle your divorce on multiple levels, covering emotional and psychological issues, financial negotiation, child custody, and even the challenges of post-divorce life, such as moving and career retraining.
Another issue for some divorcing women with sudden career accelerations is what they want to keep and share. As California is a community property state, what is earned within the marriage is equally divided. You may feel like holding on to some of the new benefits of your career, such as stock options. You may be able to afford an alternative parenting arrangement such as “nesting,” which is sharing a third home with your spouse to raise the children. Rather than allowing the courts to make these decisions for you, all these options can be discussed in mediation, and a fair agreement can be reached that honors both of your contributions to the marriage and makes reasonable predictions for your future apart.
Perhaps the best outcome of mediation, however, is the potential that, rather than becoming the burned-out victims of sexist gender roles in a traditional divorce, you and your spouse may be able to have an amicable divorce and actually grow as friends and co-parents after the divorce, passing on a healthier model of marriage to your kids.
Our Services & How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around closure and practical solutions for your future life. Many people assume they’re facing an expensive divorce battle, expecting a “win-lose” outcome. At Divorce Options San Diego, we reframe divorce as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future and your kids’ future.
We never litigate. We don’t do adversarial work, and we never represent one spouse against another. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorce and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized. We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, from paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis to divorce transition coaching, life coaching, and interior design.
We cater to those with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children. We can help you complete your divorce from beginning to end. If you require help with your divorce transition, we offer divorce transition coaching, divorce coaching, life coaching, and business coaching. We can work with all aspects of your post-divorce life to make your transition as fruitful and empowering as possible. Our services include career coaching, retraining, working with financial wealth advisors and other professionals, arranging moving services, connecting you with realtors, and helping you with interior design for your new space.
The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are all certified financial planners who apply thorough financial analysis to your divorce to achieve an optimized result that will cover all aspects of your financial situation, including investments, property, and all other assets or debts. Our San Diego divorce mediation process provides a sophisticated review of your community property, separate property, potential community property allocations and divisions, cash flow, transitional processes, and sustainable financial planning for your divorce process. We make the paperwork part of the divorce as efficient as possible so you can move on with your lives. In most cases, you won’t have to hire divorce attorneys, appear before a judge, or visit a courtroom to finalize the divorce.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, and legal situations, leaving you free to get on with your life and care for your kids and yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience via telephone, video-conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at 858-281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.
There are many misconceptions about divorce mediation, and believing falsehoods prevents you from taking advantage of one of the best ways to reach an amicable agreement. In California, under certain circumstances you may be required to seek mediation services before you take your divorce to court, or you may just be interested in using this method to start working on your settlement right away. Knowing the truth about what mediation is and how it works can help you plan for the best outcome for your divorce. Here, the experts from Divorce Options San Diego, divorce mediators couples rely on for creative solutions that support amicable divorces, dispel some of the most common myths about divorce mediation.
1. Mediation Is for People Who Get Along
Mediation is designed to reduce conflict during divorce negotiations, so you don’t necessarily have to start out on extremely friendly terms. Your mediator knows how to help people in high-conflict relationships begin the process of communicating effectively about each decision they need to make.
2. It’s Pointless if You Don’t Reach an Agreement
Some people think mediation is a failure if they don’t resolve every issue. This is another myth that can bog down your divorce negotiations. Some people use mediation for the issues they know they can reach agreement on, such as child custody. If necessary, they can then take the case to court for things they aren’t able to settle together. This method helps you speed up the divorce process while giving you more control over the issues you can reach agreement on.
3. You Don’t Get to Have a Lawyer
Mediators work differently from lawyers because they don’t take sides. If you prefer to consult with a lawyer about certain decisions, you can seek legal counsel. Some people find it preferable to have both a lawyer and a mediator helping them with their divorce. Mediators also welcome you to seek legal counsel if it will help you feel more confident when you work through the negotiation process.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we never litigate. We do not do adversarial work, and we never represent one spouse against another. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorce and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized. We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, including paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis. We can help you complete your divorce from beginning to end.
4. You End Up Compromising Too Much
You don’t have to agree to anything in mediation unless you feel completely comfortable. There will be some compromising involved, but that also happens in court. The difference with mediation is that you get to choose where and how you compromise rather than having a judge tell you how things are going to go.
5. It Takes Too Long
Divorce can sometimes feel like a lengthy process, but mediation can shorten it. In most cases, you can complete mediation long before your six-month waiting period for the divorce is over, which gives you a head start on getting your divorced finalized. If you can reach agreement on all the required decisions, you can also completely skip going to court, so you finish the whole process faster.
6. The Mediator Makes the Decisions
Your divorce mediator is an asset when it comes to working through difficult decisions with your spouse. While the mediator will help you understand what’s required by law, such as planning for child support, he or she won’t tell you what you have to do. In the end, the mediator’s primary role is helping you reduce conflict and communicate well with your spouse so you can make mutually acceptable decisions together.
When divorcing couples are looking for opportunities to make the process as smooth, respectful, and amicable as possible, there’s a fantastic alternative to the animosity and high costs of traditional divorce: divorce mediation. Couples trust Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced divorce mediators to handle every aspect of their divorces quickly and with compassion. All the practical, legal, financial, and psychological aspects of fair, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by our experienced, trustworthy mediators. To learn how San Diego divorce mediation might be the right choice for you, call the expert mediators at Divorce Options San Diego today at 858-281-2628.
Going to divorce mediation can sometimes feel like you’re putting your whole life on the table. It gets complicated, but talking about your finances, children, and property are all important for reaching a final agreement. One thing you can do to make the process of getting a divorce easier is to get a head start on putting together the documents you’ll need to prepare your settlement. The professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on to help them form creative solutions without going through contentious and costly divorce proceedings, offer the following advice about the documents you’ll need.
Personal Identification Information
Your mediator will need some basic information to prepare your paperwork, such as a copy of your marriage certificate along with copies of your children’s birth certificates or social security cards. The mediator can tell you what you’ll need for your first meeting so you can get started.
Most Recent Tax Return
In most cases, you’ll need at least a copy of your most recent tax return. You may also need returns from previous years if your income has changed dramatically or fluctuates each year. If you and your spouse filed individually, you’ll need copies of both returns.
Pay Stubs & Other Income Information
A large part of your mediation sessions will be discussing things such as child and spousal support. Both of you will need to provide proof of any income you have from jobs, self-employment, and investments. Keep in mind these should reflect your most recent income status, and don’t forget to bring proof of things such as oil or gas royalties as well.
A List of Your Current Debts
Your debts will also need to be split up according to California law and your personal preferences. Bring credit card statements, loan documents, and proof of any other debts you have. Ideally, these documents should also list important information such as when the debt was taken on, since some types of debt incurred before the marriage might be up for discussion as to how they’re shared.
Property Valuation Documents
Your house, car, boat, and other types of property are all considered items of value that must be accounted for during the divorce. You’ll need to have proof of how much each of these things is worth. You’ll also need proof of ownership for any of these items, such as the title to your car or the deed to your house.
Health Insurance & Retirement Documents
Depending on your situation, you may also need to furnish proof of your health insurance coverage and retirement plan. Some couples split their retirement earnings up to the point of their divorce, and you’ll need to know where you stand regarding your current savings. You might also need to furnish proof of your health insurance to include in your child support and custody arrangements so everyone understands who will assume that responsibility.
You can speed up the mediation process by having all your paperwork in order. Another great way to make divorce easier is to work with experienced divorce mediators. San Diego couples benefit in numerous ways from the expertise of the professionals at Divorce Options San Diego. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we help couples end their marriages amicably so they can look forward and move on with their lives. To learn more about our revolutionary divorce mediation process, give us a call today at 858-281-2628.
Tax season, everyone’s favorite time of year, is almost here. Doing taxes can lead to a personal reckoning for many people. It can mean coming to terms with the bottom line: What do I have? What have I spent? How much have I earned? For most people, dealing with finances involves some level of personal guilt. Money is tied to self-worth, and in our economic system, your sense of yourself in society is tied to how much you earn. A stay-at-home mom or dad may understand his or her financial worth very differently than the COO of a company might. In fact, that mom or dad may actually have a more evolved concept of his or her personal value. On the other hand, he or she may fall prey to doubts about his or her self-worth.
When tax season intersects with divorce, these questions often become more painful and entangled. Tax season makes certain financial realities very visible: Are you filing separately or together? What exemptions can you claim?
Fortunately, when you sit down to mediate your divorce during tax season, you realize you have a choice. Filing your taxes is actually a tool you can use to collaborate on your shared assets and actually help you determine your values. The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego can analyze your finances as well as your personal values to come to a fair reckoning of your separate and mutual interests and your true values.
When you’re divorcing, dealing with finances is more than just a calculation. When assets are used to fund your separate lives as well as the lives of your children in the future, they need to be tied to a determination of values. For example, which assets do you want to hold on to (e.g., the house), and which need to be liquidated? There may be a lot of emotions tied to these things. In mediation, you can tackle questions such as:
- How to file
- How to distribute a tax refund
- How to claim dependents
- How much alimony you’re paying
- How to determine responsibility for taxes on stock options, gifts, and inheritances
Many of these decisions will be dependent on other factors, such as the ages of your children and whether they’re going to college, how much both partners earn, who has custody of the children (when claiming dependents), and more. Fortunately, mediation helps you take the confusion and terror out of tax season and turn it into a positive plan for the future.
Our Services & How We Can Help
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional San Diego divorce mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. We are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life. At Divorce Options San Diego we reframe divorce as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future and your kids’ future.
We never litigate. We do not do adversarial work, and we never represent one spouse against another. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorce and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized. We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, including paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis. We can help you complete your divorce from beginning to end. If you require help with your divorce transition, we offer divorce transition coaching, divorce coaching, life coaching, business coaching, and even interior design for your new home.
The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are all certified financial planners who apply thorough financial analysis to your divorce to achieve an optimized result that will cover all aspects of your financial situation, including investments, property, and all other assets and debts. We provide a sophisticated review of your community property, separate property, potential community property, allocations and divisions, cash flow, transitional processes, and sustainable financial planning for your divorce process. When married partners are also business partners, a divorce/business mediation approach can explore solutions such as splitting the business, co-owning it, or whatever option is most suitable for your financial and emotional needs. To assist with this, we can do a full business appraisal and analysis.
All our mediations start with thorough background research and information gathering, which flows through the mediation whenever necessary. As a full-service San Diego divorce mediation firm, we help you navigate the form-driven California divorce process. We secure the process so that even if a change is made, the court will be informed in the correct manner. We help you draft settlement agreements that are fully legally compliant and take into account the needs of the whole family.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, and legal situations leaving you free to get on with your life and care for your kids and yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience via telephone, video-conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at 858-281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.