Disclaimer: This blog does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation, it’s best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.
Summer holidays should be downtime for kids and parents, but all too frequently, kids get bored, parents get exasperated, and the season for fun becomes one of quarrels and stressed-out parents. When families are divorced, changes in routine can cause even more conflict unless parents plan well.
One parent may take the kids for the whole season, or one parent may take the kids on holiday. If the parents’ relationship is amicable enough, the whole family may go on vacation together. Many things determine how holidays will be approached, such as parenting styles, the relationship between the co-parents, the needs of the kids, and the parents’ schedules. Even if one parent takes the kids, some co-parents may want to be aware of what their children are doing and check in regularly, while others may be more comfortable letting their co-parents take over. Whatever the co-parenting relationship, there is hope, as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie show. It’s been reported that Brad Pitt has the kids for the summer, which is a long way from the supervised visits during the early stages of their divorce:
At Divorce Options San Diego, we can mediate between parties so these conversations can happen in advance and holidays can be relaxing. We are a full-service firm that can assist with many different aspects of divorce, from documentation to choices about your lifestyles and your kids’ wellbeing. For example, traveling with kids internationally can be more difficult due to international laws. The San Diego divorce mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are well versed in the technical and emotional aspects of sharing custody of your kids. From drafting complex parenting plans to dealing with the deeper emotional undercurrents of conflict, by using psychoanalytical tools and more, mediation can identify potential issues that might not arise in normal conversations.
Some of the issues that can arise when planning your kids’ summer holiday with your co-parent can include the following:
- Your child has medical issues or a disability – Holiday activities can be restricted by your child’s individual medical or developmental issues. These will need to be discussed carefully with your co-parent.
- Different parenting styles and expectations for holiday activities – Some parents can be very hands-off, while others are more hands-on. During summer holidays, children may be involved in activities that can be risky. Parents may need to check in more frequently or even want to veto certain activities. If your co-parent is stressed and hypervigilant, mediation can help with structuring check-in times and scheduling activities in advance to reduce stress on the children and the parents.
- Different schedules and incomes and not being the “fun” parent – Some parents may be free to take off in the summer, while others may have to work. The year-round parent may suffer feelings of inadequacy upon handing over the kids to the “fun” parent. Mediation can address such imbalances in your co-parenting relationship. Some parents simply can’t afford expensive vacations. At Divorce Options San Diego, we are financial experts who can help you make the most of your pooled resources, from creating a holiday fund to having parents alternate covering costs.
- Ground rules for blended families, in-laws, and new partners – Many families are now bigger, “blended” families, with stepsiblings, stepparents, in-laws, and even ex-partners spending holidays together. It may take some preparation to present a united front for the kids, such as establishing ground rules about sleeping arrangements for ex-partners and new partners or having conversations about how much input from stepparents is acceptable.
- Religious or cultural differences – You may need to have a conversation about observing cultural traditions during the summer break. Insensitivity about your co-parent’s religious or cultural standards can lead to kids having a divided experience and feeling caught between two parents. Having the conversation in advance and agreeing upon boundaries sets everyone up for a more relaxing summer.
- Traveling abroad with your kids – If your children are traveling abroad with your co-parent, you’ll need to prepare travel documents and custody papers. The rules for what notifications to show when you leave the country with your child may differ depending on the custody arrangement. Mediation can help you make sure you’re in compliance with the law and your custody arrangement.
Our Services and How We Can Help
We can help you complete your divorce from beginning to end. At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional mediators and certified financial planners with psychoanalytical expertise. Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life even beyond divorce. We cater to those with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children.
San Diego Divorce Options puts a high premium on a peaceful, child-centered divorce. Our expert San Diego divorce mediation services include the use of developmental psychology, attachment theory, psychology of grieving, and family systems psychology to help you and your children through the difficult emotional transition. We help divorcing parents draft multiphase parenting plans that consider their children’s developmental needs. We help co-parents build parenting plans that will withstand the challenges of parenting, even if national or international location is involved. We can assist you with the tools to stay connected to your children even if you aren’t the primary caregiver.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, or legal situation. This leaves you free to get on with your life and care for your kids and yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience using telephone, video-conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at (858) 281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.
Disclaimer: This blog doesn’t constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation, it’s best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.
Sometimes it’s important to “get down to brass tacks.” As this New York Times article (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/your-money/taxes-tips-divorce.html) points out, at its most fundamental level, divorce is a business negotiation. In this negotiation, parties are looking to make a deal that’s profitable to them and mitigates the loss of their financial relationship. Since ex-spouses often have an ongoing relationship that includes activities such as coparenting, divorce seeks to make this relationship serve both parties and their children. This deal is made with careful planning that has to take into account tax considerations. In the past, divorcing couples might have gone into negotiations with an instinctive sense of how taxes could work for them. Now, since the recent tax overhaul, that’s not so clear. Radical changes to taxes must mean a new approach to negotiation. Who gets what and does what with their money is open to new interpretations that may not be obvious.
Get Help So You Don’t Lose the Road Map
When you’re dividing your assets, particularly more complicated assets, you need help with your divorce. At Divorce Options San Diego, our mediators have expertise in finance and mathematics. We’re a full-service divorce firm that does thorough research alongside your mediation sessions to help you get a comprehensive picture of your financial landscape. We ensure you go through the proper steps to have a divorce compliant with California law, and we even provide a document service if necessary.
When it comes to taxes, timing and organization are especially important. You’ll need to decide how to file if you’re still married during tax season, and you’ll have to figure out what to do about your assets in the future. You’ll also need to make a long-term plan that factors in your kids, if you have any. Some changes and challenges you might face in the current landscape are:
- Spousal support – The biggest change in the recent tax updates was the removal of a tax credit that had been in the code since 1947: the ability of the paying spouse to deduct spousal support and income tax for the receiving spouse. This affects the divorce deal significantly, as it can seem less attractive for the paying spouse to give a generous sum of spousal support. There are ways to make the deal more attractive for the paying spouse, but it’s best to work with financial and legal experts who can help you decide how to manage your finances and remain compliant with tax and divorce law. The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are certified financial planners who can help you make a careful determination on these issues.
- Children – With a change to the dependent tax exemption and a new credit, you’ll have to be more careful in your divorce negotiations about how you assign money and time with the kids. The time you spend with the kids could also be significant in the future, as college applications will take into account the income of the lower-earning spouse when the kids spend more time with that parent. By using divorce mediation, San Diego couples can work out a strategy to take advantage of financial aid and pool their resources.
- Filing your taxes – Should you file jointly or separately? This is a consideration that will have to be worked into your overall negotiations. What will you be losing out on next year when you’re divorced? How can you operate a profitable business together as long as you’re married? The value of mediation is that it helps you acknowledge and take advantage of mutual benefit, even if you and your spouse have a less than amicable relationship. At Divorce Options San Diego, we use tools such as game theory to draw a clear picture of your common and separate interests. Recognizing that compromising isn’t caving in and having your needs heard are essential to working out a good agreement.
- What to do about the family home – With property tax deductions decreased, the decision about the family home becomes a more difficult one, as it makes holding on to the home less attractive financially. This can be a particularly emotionally charged decision, and mediation can help you work through this difficult choice in a neutral environment where you can approach the decision with care and consideration.
Our Services and How We Can Help
The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are all certified financial planners who apply thorough financial analysis to your divorce to achieve an optimized result that will cover all aspects of your financial situation, including investments, property, and all other assets or debts. We provide a sophisticated review of your community property, separate property, potential community property allocations and divisions, cash flow, transitional processes, and sustainable financial planning for your divorce process.
When married partners are also business partners, a divorce/business mediation approach can explore solutions such as splitting a business, co-owning it, or whatever option is most suitable for your financial and emotional needs. To assist with this, we can do a full business appraisal and analysis. All our mediations start with thorough background research and information gathering, which flow through the mediation whenever necessary. As a full-service divorce mediation firm, we help you navigate the form-driven California divorce process. We help you draft settlement agreements that are fully legally compliant and take into account the needs of the whole family.
We can help you complete your divorce from beginning to end. All the practical, legal, financial, and psychological aspects of fair, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our comprehensive process, which is so thorough that, in most cases, you won’t have to hire divorce attorneys, appear before a judge, or visit a courtroom to finalize the divorce. Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life beyond divorce. We cater to those with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children.
Mediation is a 100 percent confidential process, so you can be assured your divorce will be handled with care and privacy. We emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, and legal situations. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience using telephone, video-conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at (858) 281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.
You have several options for obtaining a divorce in California. Some couples first work through some type of mediation or collaborative process before they present their agreement to the court. Although divorce mediation and collaborative divorce may look the same to someone unfamiliar with this process, they’re very different. With mediation, you’ll work with a mediator who serves as a neutral party to work out an agreement. Although collaborative divorce is designed to use mediation and negotiation to reach a settlement, it still requires you both to seek legal representation for yourselves. When making the decision between the two, it helps to know these benefits of choosing a mediated divorce from the very beginning.
Maintain an Amicable Atmosphere
If you have children or any other need to talk to your ex-spouse in the future, it’s best to keep things as amicable as possible. When a divorce is handled well, you should both come out of the process feeling as though your needs have been met. Divorce lawyers are meant to represent the best interests of their clients only, which means bringing two of them into the situation instantly increases feelings of animosity. Mediators are neutral and employ strategies to defuse tense situations. Avoiding arguments and hurt feelings helps the process move along faster and feels better overall.
Preserve Your Assets
Divorce involves splitting your current household into two, which may mean making some changes regarding your finances. You may now be trying to live on a fixed income as you try to purchase your own house or even find a job if you were a stay-at-home parent. Hiring two lawyers is much more expensive than paying for one mediator. Saving money during such a critical time means you can put it toward other important things you need to begin your new lives apart.
The high cost of hiring divorce attorneys is a major concern for most couples. Fortunately, mediation provides an alternative that costs much less and focuses on finding creative solutions that meet the emotional and practical needs of both spouses. All the financial, legal, and practical aspects of respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our specialized comprehensive process, which is so thorough they won’t need to hire attorneys.
Finish Your Divorce Faster
California has a six-month waiting period after you file your petition for a divorce. On average, mediated agreements take about two to three months to complete, although Divorce Options San Diego’s clients can expect much shorter timelines—it usually takes us only 4–6 weeks to finish the filing. A collaborative divorce can take much longer, since the lawyers tend to escalate tense situations. In addition, collaborative divorce requires a financial advisor, a psychologist/therapist, a divorce coach, and two attorneys, which can drive up cost, time, and complexity. These divorces can take anywhere from eight months to over a year. Mediation firms that manage all those tasks in-house make the process much more efficient, cheaper, and faster.
Maintain a Greater Sense of Empowerment
Mediators take a different approach to divorce planning compared to lawyers. In many situations, lawyers tend to advise their clients regarding what they should do. You may even feel pressured to go with what your attorney says, even when it goes against your preferences. With a mediator, there’s no pressure involved. Instead, mediators simply guide you through the decision-making process. Having a greater sense of empowerment is beneficial during a time when you’re already dealing with a lot of uncertainty.
Couples who want to make the divorce process as smooth, respectful, and amicable as possible can choose a fantastic alternative to the hostility and high expense of hiring divorce attorneys: divorce mediation. San Diego couples trust Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced divorce mediators to handle every aspect of their divorces, and our focus is on ensuring fairness and mutual satisfaction for both spouses. To learn more about how divorce mediation can be the best option for you, call the expert mediators at Divorce Options San Diego today at (858) 281-2628.
One of the reasons mediation is one of the best methods for getting divorced is that it breaks down the process into simpler steps that keep everyone on the same page. When you first start to work with a mediator, knowing what steps they’ll take you through helps you understand what will happen next in the process. Divorce Options San Diego—experienced professionals who provide premier San Diego divorce mediation services to couples seeking creative divorce solutions—outline the most important steps below. Keep in mind that the time frame for each one of these steps may vary, since it truly is up to you and your spouse how you eventually reach an agreement.
1. Make Your Introductions
As with most types of services, you’ll first need to introduce yourself to the mediator. This initial appointment allows the mediator to share some of his or her background with you so you feel more confident in the process. The mediator will also use this time to get a feel for how you and your spouse work together so he or she can recommend the best route to come to a resolution. By the time you finish this step, you should have a clear understanding of the issues that need to be decided upon, such as how to manage the splitting up of your assets and child custody issues.
Divorce Options San Diego asks our clients to fill out questionnaires, and during the initial stage, we review those questionnaires with clients, talk about their concerns and anxieties, and set expectations about major steps.
2. Gather and Share Essential Information
You’ll need to be fully informed regarding the issues you’ll be discussing in the upcoming appointments. Your mediator will probably give you an outline of items you need to bring to the next appointment, such as financial summaries, tax returns, pay stubs, and lists of all assets and debts.
3. Develop the Framework
During the framing stage of mediation, your mediator will communicate separately with you and your spouse to identify your main interests and needs. This step addresses issues such as whether or not you prefer to have custody of your child or if you believe it’s in your best interest to stay in your current house. Your mediator communicates with you and your spouse separately to avoid stress and lessen anxiety during the process.
4. Start Negotiations
This is the main step where you’ll begin to lay down the basic components of your settlement agreement. This step can take one appointment or several, if you and your spouse find it difficult to agree. Although this portion of the mediation process can get stressful, mediators are trained to help you use problem-solving skills to get to an acceptable resolution.
During this step, the Divorce Options San Diego team typically prepares community property equalization plans and discusses creative ways to distribute the estate. In the meantime, we have filed Petition and Response and the financial disclosures, and we have started working on the parenting plan and the settlement agreement.
5. Conclude with a Settlement
This is the final step, and it represents a major achievement, since it means you’re finished with the negotiations. Your mediator will now draft a settlement agreement that addresses all the issues required by law. Once you and your spouse look at it and agree to it, this can then be used to draft the final settlement agreement that gets sent to the court.
Divorce Options San Diego can handle every aspect of your divorce for you, including complicated financial matters, so you won’t need to hire expensive attorneys. As San Diego divorce mediators, we offer a one-stop shop approach for couples who are looking for a way to dissolve their marriages amicably and with mutual respect. To learn more about our groundbreaking approach to divorce, give us a call today at (858) 281-2628.
Using mediation to negotiate the terms of your divorce could prevent a long, drawn-out court battle that’s stressful on your entire family. With mediation, both parties can discuss and resolve their issues, making sure everyone is satisfied with the outcome. Divorce Options San Diego—professionals who are revolutionizing the divorce process with expert divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on to create optimal customized divorce solutions—offer this advice about the mediation process, including how long it takes for a divorce to be final after the process is complete.
The mediator doesn’t make any decisions for the couple. Instead, he or she serves as a facilitator as you and your spouse determine what’s best in your situation. Having a mediator provides many benefits, such as eliminating the expenses that come with court trials and countless hearings. The mediation process is confidential, so you don’t have to worry about the public accessing your records. Choosing this process allows you and your spouse to stay in control, and it could prevent future conflicts. A mediator can help you and your spouse brainstorm and stay on track, making sure you each have an equal opportunity to voice your concerns and wishes. The ultimate goal of mediation is to help you both develop a compromise that works.
Completing the Agreement
Once both parties have found an amicable solution, the mediator writes an agreement, which typically includes items such as parenting schedules and the division of property and finances. The documents from the mediation agreement are incorporated into all your divorce paperwork and filed accordingly. Now that the document is part of your divorce judgment, the court has the power to enforce the terms if either party doesn’t abide by the agreement. At Divorce Options San Diego, we actually write the marital settlement agreement and not just a memorandum of understanding. The case goes through several departments, and our firm monitors progress.
Clients who hire Divorce Options San Diego can expect it to take 4–6 weeks to finish the filing, and then there’s a 6-month waiting period before the divorce is final. Our process is much more efficient and less time-consuming than other mediators, who often take more time to file. If couples choose to hire lawyers and take the traditional litigation route, it could take anywhere from 1 to 3 years for the divorce to become final.
All the financial, legal, psychological, and practical aspects of amicable, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our specialized comprehensive process, which is so thorough they won’t need to hire attorneys. To learn how we can help you with every aspect of your divorce, call us today at (858) 281-2628.
Many couples agonize over filing for divorce and struggle with deciding if it’s the best option for their families. Divorce should never be taken lightly. You must put a lot of thought and reflection into the situation and ultimately do what’s best for you. The team from Divorce Options San Diego—the experts couples turn to for San Diego divorce mediation that’s conducted with integrity and compassion—offer these specific pros and cons of divorce, which could help you process your feelings and make a rational decision.
Impact on Children
Children go through the divorce right along with their parents. In some instances, younger kids might rebel or experience depression. However, some children are mature enough to see their parents no longer get along, so they’re not against divorce. Regardless of their age, consider signing your children up for therapy during the divorce. If you and your spouse have an amicable relationship, it’s best that you break the news to your children together. You may also decide to attend family therapy, which is typically designed to help children transition into their new reality.
Gaining your independence could be an advantage of getting divorced. Instead of putting your ideas and desires on the back burner, you’ll be in sole control of the decisions you make. If you want to go out to dinner with your friends, you don’t have to share these details with anyone. If you want to make an expensive purchase, you can do so, as long as it’s within your budget. Every individual deserves to be happy and to maintain as much independence as possible. When the marriage starts to take that freedom away, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. You might find divorce is the only option.
If couples go through the traditional attorney-based divorce process instead of using divorce mediation, splitting up personal assets can sometimes lead to long, drawn-out court battles no one wants to deal with. If you depend on your spouse for financial assistance, the challenge of paying bills and other expenses could be overwhelming, damaging your emotional, physical, and mental health. However, you could be entitled to some compensation while the divorce is going forward.
Saving a Friendship
People grow apart for different reasons, but this doesn’t mean they have to end their relationship on bad terms. If you chose to get married at a young age, your perception of marriage might not be the same, and a divorce could be the logical option. Ending the marriage allows you both to find true happiness, whether it’s with another person or it means you’re alone and more focused on your own needs. In these instances, a divorce could save your relationship with an ex-spouse, which is even better when children are involved.
If you’re looking for an alternative to the contentious, attorney-centered manner in which divorces are usually handled, call on the trustworthy professionals at Divorce Options San Diego. We’re experienced San Diego divorce mediators who can help you dissolve your marriage in a fair way that’s based on mutual respect, leaving both parties satisfied and ready to move on with their lives. Give us a call today at (858) 281-2628 to learn more.
Divorce is rarely the first option for couples, but in many cases, it’s inevitable. There are no-fault divorces, but many people list a combination of factors when filing. The professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for an alternative to the often contentious and costly divorce process, list some of the most common reasons couples decide to get divorced.
Earning enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle isn’t easy for every family. When one spouse is responsible for the finances and the other spouse doesn’t contribute monetarily, it could lead to fallout beyond repair, especially when children are involved and their needs aren’t met mainly due to lack of income. In addition, large gaps in earning levels could cause animosity between spouses, leading to disagreements, legal separations, and even divorce.
Many disagreements can be solved with simple conversations or therapy sessions, yet many couples fail to communicate throughout their marriage, allowing the tension to escalate over the years. Instead of talking through their issues, some spouses turn to other family members and friends, sharing intimate details about their marriage. When this happens, outsiders give their opinions, which aren’t always in favor of saving the relationship. Excellent communication can prevent resentment, frustration, and other negative emotions that impact a marriage.
Alcohol and drug addiction can alter a person’s mental, physical, and emotional health. When the habit goes untreated, it puts a strain on marital relationships because the abuse is often enabled. Spouses want to help their loved ones, so they believe staying in the marriage and waiting for the addiction to cease is the answer, when in actuality, their spouses self-destruct and hit rock-bottom. Even if substance abuse has ruined their marriages, people can salvage their friendships and suggest their spouses receive rehabilitation in the mediation process.
The “for better, for worse” aspect of wedding vows isn’t always upheld in some marriages, often when one spouse develops a chronic condition or various health issues. Spouses sometimes get discouraged when their loved ones develop diseases that impact their daily lives, such as cancer, Alzheimer’s, or Parkinson’s. Caring for their significant others is often challenging, and they don’t want those limitations to define the rest of their lives or their relationships. In some instances, both parties agree to divorce because one spouse doesn’t want the other to be around when the health condition worsens.
Cheating is the most common cause of divorce. Infidelity can be physical and emotional. When spouses turn to other individuals for comfort, they could fall out of love with their partners and want to terminate their marriages. It’s often determined during mediation that the extramarital affairs are due to a specific problem within the relationship, such as:
• Lack of intimacy
• Growing apart
• No family support
No matter what the cause, divorce is always emotionally difficult, and a great way to ease the process is to work with experienced divorce mediators. San Diego couples can benefit enormously from the expertise of the team at Divorce Options San Diego. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we empower couples to dissolve their marriages with respect and mutual satisfaction and move on to the next stage of life with optimism. To learn more about our revolutionary divorce mediation process, give us a call today at (858) 281-2628.
Ending a marriage in California can be done without hiring lawyers or going to court—instead, couples use a process called divorce mediation. Naturally, working things out in mediation also helps you complete your divorce faster, and you can make sure your efforts are successful by watching out for these common reasons divorce mediations fail, brought to you by Divorce Options San Diego, San Diego divorce mediators who offer a one-stop shop approach for couples looking for a way to dissolve their marriages amicably and with mutual respect.
1. Starting with the Wrong Attitude
In most cases, two people have already gone through some tough times before they decide to get a divorce. While you may feel tempted to try to get revenge on your ex-spouse for things he or she did wrong, this isn’t the time. It’s also important to understand your goal isn’t to come out the winner in the situation. Instead, it’s better to enter into divorce mediation with an open mind that allows you to focus on developing an agreement that works for everyone’s needs.
2. Avoiding Critical Decisions
There are certain things the state of California requires to be decided during your divorce. For instance, couples with kids must submit a plan for child custody, visitation, and support. While you may want to avoid talking about tough topics, the truth is these decisions must be made sooner or later. Choose to work through them now so your mediation effort doesn’t end in failure.
3. Failing to Disclose Essential Information
Your divorce mediator will ask you and your ex-spouse for essential information. For instance, you’ll need a list of assets and debts. You may also need to furnish your kids’ schedules and other details that help you all stay on the same page. If you fail to disclose essential information, the truth will eventually come out. Omitting details can also cause your agreement to be rejected by the court if it’s discovered you haven’t told the full truth about your situation.
4. Listening to Bad Advice from Others
When you get a divorce, you need to rely on the support of your family and friends. However, everyone’s divorce is different. Don’t get tripped up by listening to bad advice from people who claim to have been in your shoes, as this could cause you to enter the process with a negative attitude or the wrong information for handling decisions.
5. Skipping Mediation Appointments
Your life is busy, but it’s essential to attend every mediation appointment. Skipping them causes the process to be drawn out longer. Your ex-spouse may also become frustrated and seek other types of divorce arrangements. Try to attend every appointment and be on time. If you must miss one, make sure it’s for a good reason.
6. Refusing to Try to See the Other Side
While it may be difficult to see things from your ex-spouse’s perspective, it’s important to try to see what he or she is thinking. Be willing to see it as a process whose goal is mutual satisfaction, and it’ll be easier to make decisions that are for the greater good.
These are just a few ways divorce mediation could fail if the parties aren’t ready to commit to the process. Nevertheless, for couples in San Diego, divorce mediation may be the ideal choice when they’re ready to go their separate ways. If you’re interested in learning more about how mediation works and why more people are choosing it every day, call the mediation experts at Divorce Options San Diego at 858-281-2628.
If things aren’t working out between you and your spouse, it may be a good idea to start planning for a separation. Taking the time to make plans before you actually leave can help you avoid a lot of headaches later on. It’s especially helpful if you and your partner can sit down and discuss these plans, but this may not be the wisest course in all marriages. Here are some things you need to keep in mind when you’re finalizing your separation plans, brought to you by the experienced professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, divorce mediators San Diego couples trust to develop creative solutions that leave both parties satisfied and ready to move on with their lives.
Carefully Consider Goals and Timelines
The first thing you need to do when you start considering a separation is think about what you hope to get out of it. Do you want you and your partner to take a break and give your marriage time to heal, or do you want the separation to be the first step toward a divorce? Do you want an informal separation, or are you ready for a formal legal separation that’s filed with the court? When does the separation go into effect, and how long do you hope it will last? Are you going to tell your partner now or wait until it’s time for one of you to leave? Setting clear expectations for you and your partner can make the separation go more smoothly.
Make Sure You Provide Stability for Your Children
A separation is a volatile time, so if you have children, it’s very important to include them in your plans. Some couples find it helpful to let the kids stay in the family home while the parents rotate back and forth between an apartment. You can also plan to do things like visit usual vacation spots, keep up with afterschool activities, and maintain your children’s normal schedule to help them feel secure.
Begin Separating Finances
Finances are one of the biggest causes of conflict during a separation, so it’s a good idea to go ahead and begin splitting them. It’s easiest when both spouses are employed so you can both create private bank accounts and handle things separately. However, if one spouse isn’t employed, you may want to discuss a monthly budget to help things go smoothly.
Make Sure You Have Access to Important Items and Documents
You won’t actually divide all your shared possessions until the divorce, but it can be a good idea to get a start on this by ensuring you have access to anything you need. Make sure things like your pet’s registration, the title for your car, and other legal proofs of ownership include your name. For shared accounts, include your name or email address on them. Gather your birth certificate, passport, family heirlooms, and other difficult-to-replace items in an area where you can easily pick them up and take them with you when you leave.
If couples do choose to divorce and want the opportunity to make the process as smooth, respectful, and amicable as possible, there’s an amazing alternative to the animosity and high costs of traditional divorce: divorce mediation. San Diego couples can rely on Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced divorce mediators to handle every aspect of their divorces, and there will be no need to spend a small fortune on litigation. To learn more about how we can help with legal separation and divorce mediation, call the expert mediators at Divorce Options San Diego today at (858) 281-2628.
When you decided to get your divorce, one of your biggest questions was likely how long the whole process would take. Going through a divorce can leave certain parts of your life in limbo, and you’re naturally eager to get things straightened out. As you get ready to enter divorce mediation, here’s what you should know about how long it typically takes and what you can do to keep things moving at a smooth pace, brought to you by Divorce Options San Diego, San Diego divorce mediators who offer a one-stop shop approach for couples looking for a way to dissolve their marriages amicably and with mutual respect.
Consider the Average Time Required
There truly isn’t a cookie-cutter divorce, since everyone’s finances, family dynamics, and children are different, which is why mediation is considered more beneficial than just going to court. In mediation, you and your spouse get to have more say about how important decisions are made. You may even know someone who has been through the process themselves. In most cases, mediation is completed within four to six weeks. However, some people can take much longer, and this may be the case for you if your situation is complicated.
Think About Your Situation
During your first mediation appointment, you can expect to go over some basic details about your marriage, such as the assets you have in common as well as your family dynamics. For instance, you may have started a family business together or gained a large inheritance. These types of situations may lengthen the amount of time you spend in mediation, and this may be especially true if you and your spouse don’t agree on essential things, such as who should have child custody. While the point of mediation is to work these things out, it can take longer for some people than for others.
Understand the Importance of Not Rushing
People enter a divorce with different mindsets, and it’s common for one or both partners to just want to get the whole thing over with. Finishing mediation is a huge step toward moving on with your life, yet you shouldn’t rush the process. Each mediation appointment addresses critical decisions that impact the rest of your life. In many cases, you’re also making decisions that affect your children, other family members, and pets. Rushing through any one of these decisions can lead to costly mistakes, and trying to reverse a divorce agreement is much more difficult than just doing it the way you feel is right the first time.
Remember Your Role in Successful Mediation
While you and your spouse shouldn’t just agree to everything so you can get it over with, you should also remember not to be so antagonistic that nothing gets accomplished. When you find yourself saying no to your spouse, consider your reasons. If you’re both willing to work through the process with open minds, you’ll find that with high-quality mediation, little to no compromise will be necessary. Instead, the team from Divorce Options San Diego focuses on creating new value and identifying different options.
For couples in San Diego, divorce mediation may be the ideal choice when they’re ready to go their separate ways. If you’re interested in learning more about how mediation works and why more people are choosing it every day, call the mediation experts at Divorce Options San Diego at 858-281-2628.