How to Mediate a Fair Divorce When Your Contribution Means More than Money
Disclaimer: This article doesn’t constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation, it’s best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.
The question of household chores, homemaking, and who contributes to a marriage is something many people put on the back burner, muddling along as best they can with kids and, sometimes, several jobs. But what happens when divorce enters the picture? Divorce forces us to evaluate the investment of our time and energy, which may not always be valued with money.
In a landmark settlement, an Argentinian housewife was awarded $179K for her years of homemaking while her husband went out to work. When the couple initially divorced, the wife faced financial hardship, while the man “had a good time.” The now 70-year-old ex-wife was awarded $179K in recognition that household chores and homemaking are a “job.” The ruling was affected by the wife’s education level (she had an economics degree but was too old to work after the divorce). Therefore, the wife was judged by the court to be someone who had sacrificed a promising career to take care of the household.
Fairly Valuing Each Spouse’s Investment in the Marriage
Even though this “straight down the middle” division of household and economic labor is less common in America, women still report doing more household chores and frequently cite the emotional “labor” involved in being the family manager and strategist. This work is often invisible, hard to quantify, and/or not valued. Many women feel insecure about asking for the financial value of their homemaking in a divorce. For example, a San Diego homemaker who works part-time and shares some household chores with her husband may not see her contribution in terms of money or lost opportunity.
Before grievances and regrets about these decisions can settle in, turning to mediation can help divorcing partners come to a fair agreement about the value of their time, energy, and choices. This may sound complex, but at Divorce Options San Diego—professionals who are transforming the divorce process with expert divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for customized divorce solutions—we seek clarity by using sound mathematical and psychoanalytical approaches such as game theory to determine separate interests and mutual benefits. We combine the financial and the emotional to come to a fair assessment of each partner’s investment in the marriage. California recognizes the need in many cases to support former spouses in their new lives (the term “spousal support” is in recognition of this). There are calculations such as “imputed income” to determine how much a former spouse will earn. At Divorce Options San Diego, we can give you back control over your divorce so you can plan for your mutual financial benefit. We demystify and take the stress out of these calculations and provide room for conversations about the value of your contribution.
Our Services and How We Can Help
Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life, even beyond divorce. When considering divorce, many people assume they’re facing an expensive battle, expecting a “win-lose” outcome and numerous court appearances. At Divorce Options San Diego, we reframe divorce as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future and your kids’ future.
We never litigate. We don’t do adversarial work, and we never represent one spouse against another. We empower divorcing spouses to own their divorces and craft sustainable, effective mutual agreements that will last long after the divorce is finalized. We are a one-stop shop providing a bundle of essential divorce services, from paperwork, court documents, and financial analysis to divorce transition coaching, life coaching, and interior design. We cater to those with busy lives who want the best for themselves and their children.
The mediators at Divorce Options San Diego are all certified financial planners who apply thorough analysis to your divorce to achieve an optimized result that will cover all aspects of your financial situation, including investments, property, and all other assets or debts. We provide a sophisticated review of your community property, separate property, potential community property allocations and divisions, cash flow, transitional processes, and sustainable financial planning for your divorce process. All the practical, legal, financial, and psychological aspects of fair, respectful divorce agreements can be managed by Divorce Options San Diego’s experienced, trustworthy divorce mediators. San Diego couples can rely on our comprehensive process, which is so thorough there won’t be a need for attorneys.
Mediation is a 100 percent confidential process, so you can be assured your divorce will be handled with care and privacy. At Divorce Options San Diego, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, and legal situations. This leaves you free to get on with your life and care for your kids and yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but can work with you remotely at your convenience using telephone, video conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at (858) 281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.