Starting Over Following a Divorce
During a divorce, it’s easy to focus on how your marriage is ending. However, this time also represents the opportunity to start a new chapter in your life. Although it’s true things won’t be the same, you can begin to put the pieces of your life back together and start over again. Now that the divorce process has been initiated, the time is right to focus on your future. The professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, the experts in divorce mediation San Diego couples rely on for an alternative to the often contentious and costly divorce process, advise using these strategies to make your life better than it was before.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
You need to give yourself time to mourn the ending of your marriage. Too often, people try to jump in to dating again or make hasty decisions, such as moving to a distant location. While you may end up doing these things, you need to do so when you have a clear mind. Spend some time contemplating your marriage and allow yourself to work through the emotions that arise as it ends. Keep in mind this process can take time, but it also shouldn’t interfere with your ability to carry out your normal routine. If it does, talk to a professional counselor to work through your grief.
Some people lack the time to fully grieve. They are now single parents, have full-time jobs, and have a difficult time doing anything other than the basics. We suggest divorce support groups, men’s groups, women’s groups, group therapy, divorce coaching (which is one of our services), and individual psychotherapy if possible.
Finalize Your Divorce Arrangements
Starting over works best when you have a defined ending. Couples sometimes delay important decisions, such as selling property or dividing up their belongings. If parts of your divorce are unfinished, work with a mediator to find appropriate solutions that resolve each issue. Knowing your ex-partner isn’t going to suddenly decide he or she wants his or her share of the house or show up looking for his or her things allows you to move forward with a clean slate.
Many divorcing people move into separate houses, condos, or apartments and need help, both with the move and with the choice and design of a new residential space. Our firm can connect you to resources to help you with this transition.
Decide How the Future Should Look
This strategy sounds so simple, but it’s important to mention because people sometimes just allow their lives to unfold after a divorce. Starting over means you can do anything you choose now with the ability to make independent decisions. Consider how you would like to see yourself in the future. Some people decide to start the business they always dreamed of, while others may want to travel more. Doing something you’ve been putting off gives you momentum for rebuilding your life.
Begin to Cultivate Your Friendships
Friendships often take a hit during a divorce. You may find that some friends drop off because they feel the need to take sides. Others may become closer than ever as they lend you support. Take the time to nurture your relationships. You can also branch out and form new ones by joining social activities such as groups for people going through divorces.
Rebuild Your Identity
When you’re married, a large part of your identity is tied to your relationship status. Starting over allows you to start viewing yourself from a more independent angle. Take a class or renew an old interest that allows you to begin building a new identity.
Divorce is always emotionally difficult, so having a plan for starting over can help a great deal as you’re ending your marriage. One way to focus on that plan during your divorce is to work with experienced divorce mediators. San Diego couples can benefit enormously from the expertise of the team at Divorce Options San Diego. With backgrounds in law, finance, conflict resolution, and psychology, we empower couples to dissolve their marriages with respect and mutual satisfaction and move on to the next stage of life with optimism. To learn more about our revolutionary divorce mediation process, give us a call today at (858) 281-2628.