Divorce might be an ending, but it can also represent a new beginning. Viewing your divorce as an opportunity for a fresh start can help you stay positive. Once you’ve started to make the arrangements for your divorce, you can begin working through these ideas to help you reinvent yourself as the person you’ve always dreamed of becoming.
1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
You can’t be your best self if you’re holding on to negativity. Your divorce represents a painful ending to an important part of your life. It’s normal to feel emotions such as grief, anger, and even regret. Allow yourself to work through these emotions so you can develop a healthier perspective about your divorce.
At Divorce Options San Diego, we are highly qualified professional San Diego divorce mediators with psychoanalytical expertise. Our mediators are caring, educated professionals who build divorce around conflict resolution, closure, and practical solutions for your future life. We reframe divorce as an opportunity to generate creative, optimized solutions for your future. We use developmental psychology, attachment theory, psychology of grieving, and family systems psychology to help you through the difficult emotional transition.
2. Analyze Your Present Self
You may realize you no longer know who you are when you’ve been married for a while. Spouses sometimes take on roles that require them to change their hopes and dreams. Now is the time to think about who you are in the present moment. Then you can begin to shape a fresh view of who you want to become.
3. Avoid Focusing on Your Ex-Spouse
Now that your marriage is over, it’s important to avoid ruminating about your ex. Your former spouse is also trying to move on with his or her life, and you don’t want to play the comparison game. It doesn’t matter whether your ex is dating, starting a new career, or anything else. It also no longer matters what he or she thinks about your new lifestyle, as long as it’s positive for any children you have together.
4. Embrace New Roles
Now that you’re single, you may be doing things you never had to do before. Whether you now have to mow the lawn or pick up groceries on the way home from work, these are new experiences that can help you become a better person. Embrace them, and look for more opportunities to do new things.
5. Do Something Completely Out of Your Comfort Zone
Reinventing yourself means moving away from what you’ve always done. Think of something completely out of your normal routine, and make plans to do it. Whether you go ballroom dancing or choose to hike up a mountain, you’ll feel more confident about who you’re becoming.
6. Pick Up a Regular Hobby or Activity
You may not have had time for some of your favorite activities when you were married. Now you can take that class or pick up a paintbrush. The idea here is to find something you can do on a regular basis. Taking weekly dance lessons or setting aside time every night to write offers you a chance to focus solely on your personal development.
7. Set Goals for Your Future
The new you may also need some new goals to work toward. If you’re returning to work, consider setting some career goals. You might also want to buy a new house or car or plan a vacation.
8. Spend Time with Different Types of People
You’re also now free to spend time with whomever you want. While you might not be ready to date yet, you can choose to meet new people through shared activities and support groups. Getting to know other people can enhance your perspective on who you want to be going forward.
Divorce Options San Diego is a full-service mediation firm that can help you work through your divorce on a number of levels, from practical to legal to emotional. As San Diego divorce mediation experts with psychoanalytical expertise, we emphasize an efficient, caring process that leaves out no detail relevant to your emotional, financial, and legal situations, leaving you free to get on with your life and care for yourself, both during and after your divorce. We have offices in Solana Beach, CA, but we can work with you remotely at your convenience via telephone, video conferencing apps, and other forms of electronic communication. Please contact us at 858-281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help.