Ways to Approach Divorce Mediation if You Have Children
In California, divorce mediation is usually required when you have children who need to be addressed in your divorce settlement. Working with San Diego divorce mediators to decide on things such as custody and visitation arrangements can keep things civil while also ensuring you and your spouse learn how to work through your differences for the sake of your kids. While mediation is less stressful than battling it out in court, you do need to take a few steps to get ready for your appointments. Keep in mind that some mediators, such as the professionals from Divorce Options San Diego, meet separately with each spouse to foster a comfortable environment that promotes open, honest communication. Now that your divorce is in the works, you can use these strategies to prepare for mediation that involves decisions about your kids.
Gather Essential Information About Your Children
The easiest place to start with your preparations is by gathering basic facts about your kids. The court will need information such as your children’s names, birthdays, and personal identification numbers to be included in the paperwork. You’ll also need to furnish information that affects when you or the other parent can visit with the children. For instance, your child may need to be in school during certain times of the day, which could limit when visitation occurs.
Recognize the Importance of Both Parents
You and your spouse have your differences, and you may have experienced painful events that led up to the divorce. While it may be difficult for you to deal with your spouse right now, your children probably have a different perspective. Children of all ages tend to do best when they have the support of both parents. Try to keep this in mind as you begin to create a plan for their care.
Get Mentally Prepared for Stressful Conversations
There’s no getting around the fact that mediation can sometimes get stressful. You may find that simply talking about your spouse stresses you out. You may also find yourself having a strong reaction to something, such as who gets the children full-time. Try to spend some time before and after your mediation appointments doing something you find relaxing. Going into your appointments with a clear mind helps you work through the issues.
Be Open to Compromise
Most child custody and visitation arrangements involve some type of compromise. You may want your children full-time, but in most cases, each spouse must be allowed to have time with the kids. When you reach an impasse, concentrate on what’s best for the kids. Understanding that mediation may involve some give and take will help you and your spouse reach an agreement that’s best for your children.
San Diego Divorce Options puts a high premium on a peaceful, child-centered divorce. We use developmental psychology, attachment theory, psychology of grieving, and family systems psychology to help you and your children through a difficult emotional transition. We can assist you with the tools to stay connected to your child even if you aren’t the primary caregiver. Our expertise and experience in San Diego divorce mediation gives couples confidence in our 100 percent confidential process, and they can rest assured their divorces will be handled with care and privacy. Please contact us at 858-281-2628 for a discreet and confidential consultation to see how we can help with your divorce mediation.